By now most of you have read Wendy's account of how all this happened. She tells a beautiful story of truth, love, and determination in the process of bringing our daughter home better than I ever could. She is an amazing wife, mother, and woman whose drive and type A attitude is what is keeping us on track. If you don't mind reading some ramblings and side notes (misspellings and bad punctuation), I would like to take a few minutes to talk about the beginnings of this process for me, where we are today, and what the future will hold for my daughter.
Past
Ever since I came to Christ several years ago (Yes, family, only several years ago), I have had a notion to adopt. It might surprise some people to know that I have a truly gentle side, some not so much. The thought of a little girl spending her life without someone to care for her, love her, teach her what a family is about, and protect her broke my heart. I began expressing this desire to Wendy a couple of years ago, but I was never met with much encouragement. This is definitely not a decision you want to force on someone, so I would just make a comment from time to time and let the subject lie as it may. This being said, you might imagine my surprise when, seemingly out of the blue one day, Wendy approached me about the story of a teenager in Ukraine. (Still weird not to say "The Ukraine", but I know Wendy will read this before I post and she will correct it.)
As Wendy's story went on, I began lining the stars up in my mind and saw where this was going. I was just getting used to the idea of being finished having children and finally making some headway financially when she sprung the idea on me. You would think we would be on the same page with the whole adoption thing, and for the most part we were ... I was just 5 years down the road, about 11 years younger, and from a country slightly further east. I immediately told Wendy that my answer was "NO". She was apparently expecting that answer (I am a little predictable) and proceeded with stating a case for this young lady. After a lengthy discussion we parted ways with me saying "My answer is No, but I will promise to pray about it, and the second I hear an absolute answer one way or the other, I will let you know." Foreshadowing, anyone?
The day that we talked was Friday, and as I had finished my quiet time that night, Wendy asked if I had heard anything. Nope. Saturday rolled around, again I had my quiet time, and again the answer was no. I really saw that Wendy's heart was breaking for this girl and she could not speak about her without tearing up. This began to work on me a little and I knew that I needed to give her a final answer. On Sunday I sat down for my third prayer session since our initial discussion. I started it off by asking God for a gut punching, slap in the face, no looking for hidden meanings in a passage about "begotting" or cubits, style of answer. I read our Purpose Driven Life chapter for the day and it was on obedience when you hear God speaking... Uh oh. I then picked up my reading plan for the day and it was James 1:27. Oh no... I thought maybe this was a coincidence. Then I picked up my phone and saw the text message that Wendy had sent me earlier that I hadn't looked at yet. "Read James 1:27". Ok God, you got me. For those of you that have not committed the entire book of James to memory, let me share part of that verse with you in NIV: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans". Turns out God has a pretty good gut punch and right hook.
I proceeded to let Wendy know that I had heard my answer, and as it is often the case, my plan was not God's. A whirlwind of thoughts surrounded me that day. Could I love this girl as much as she deserved? How would we pull this off in such a short time frame? College?!? Cars?!? Dating?!? Finances... Finances... Stomach ulcer... Matthew 6:25 is the verse I often remind myself of when anxiety starts talking.
Present
So, where are we today? Well, we just successfully pulled off a one day trip to Memphis to get our finger prints 10 days ahead of our appointment (thank you groveling and nice security staff at the local Homeland Security Administration office. Consider this a shout out), Wendy pulled off an amazing auction that truly humbled us with the support and love we felt from everyone involved. We started out with 12 items and ended with 32! Seriously, thank you everyone for your bidding and overwhelming response. We are now awaiting our I171 form from our government so we can officially submit our Dossier to the SDA in (the) Ukraine. While we wait on our ever so speedy, non bureaucratic, fine and upstanding, (did I mention handsome if you are reading this) government, we will take the time to start filling out grants and continue learning Russian. I have learned that the only true way to speak Russian and nail the inflections and pronunciations is to imagine yourself in a dark room, dimly lit, five o'clock shadow, bottle of vodka in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other, intensely interrogating someone. Seriously, simply asking someone if you can have something to drink in Russian is enough to strike fear into the heart of the most hardened Starbucks barista.
Future
How can I know the future? Well, I don't know where this process will take the family, how it will end, or when we will actually get to bring our daughter home. This whole experience has already changed my heart and my life forever. Abria said it best the other night when she stated: "God uses the adoption to filter your life" (Sorry if I botched that a little Abria). I would like to take this little bit of cyberspace to speak to A. I really don't know a lot, but I do know the future for you and me. All my fears of loving you the same as my other girls were in vain. I don't know how, but I already consider you my daughter. Not new daughter, but you have always been my daughter and I just didn't know it. I feel some sort of connection as if we have spent our lives as father and daughter, yet I know so little about you. I pray for you every day. I wonder what you are doing (usually sleeping during the hours I am pondering, and if not, "go to bed, its late!"), how you are feeling, and what thoughts are running through your mind. I know you have so many questions about us, what we are like, and why we are adopting you at this point in time. I want nothing more than to comfort you, protect you, and treat you the way you have deserved to be treated your whole life: A precious gift from God meant to be loved and to love. A R Farrell, I love you and swear to always look after your best interest and protect you. I promise to raise you as a daughter of Christ and teach you the importance of loving and trusting in your Savior. Please keep up hope, stay safe, and be comforted. You are coming home soon to your family and we love you. I can't wait for the next chapter of our lives spent together fulfilling God's plan for our lives.
So truly proud of you and Wendy! Love you both!
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