Parents

It will be 2 weeks ago tomorrow that we decided to adopt our daughter. Before we started this process, I would often wonder when I would feel like a parent to my adopted child. I thought that it might not be an immediate feeling, but one that would take time to develop as our attachment grew. When we made our decision to adopt A 2 weeks ago, I then wondered how she would feel about us. Being a teenager, and having real, tangible memories of her birth parents, I thought that it might take months, or even years for her to accept Ryan and me as her parents. I am thrilled to say, I was wrong:)

 

 

Early this morning, 3 am to be exact, Ryan and I spoke with our 5th daughter for the first time. It was truly a life changing moment, and one that we will both remember for the rest of our lives. We got the go ahead to communicate with A  from our placement agency this past week. We then got her phone number from her bff. Thursday night I sent A a text messege using google translate and told her that when she had someone nearby that could translate for us, to please send me a text, and I would call back. At 2 am last night, A sent me a message saying that a local girl was there that could translate. Unfortunately, I was sleeping and did not get the text until an hour later, when my Laise woke up wanting her paci. I glanced at my phone to see what time it was, and saw a text from A. My heart was pounding out of my chest!! I hurriedly sent her back a text asking if she was still near her english speaking friend...and she was! I made Ryan quickly get out of bed, and we placed the call.

 

 

Our conversation was short and sweet. A was a bit nervous and shy, as you can imagine. She was worried that we did not have time to adopt her before she turns 16 in a few short months. I assured her that we working as quickly as we can to get the paperwork filed. The highlight of the conversation was when someone walked by and she said "I'm talking to my parents". Thinking about that one line brings tears to my eyes. Any worries I had about her accepting us as her parents, or wanting to be adopted into a family that she did not even know exitsted a week ago, immediately washed away. It made me think of our Heavenly Father, and the overwhelming joy He must feel each time one of His children call him Father for the first time.  1 John 3:1 states, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!"I can see more clearly how God feels about His children from going through the adoption process. With my biological children, there was no question that I would love them and treasure them from day one. They were my babies, no choice was made. I have loved them dearly from the moment they were conceived. The difference with A is that there is a choice. There is a choice for us as parents, and her as our child to love each other and to accept each other as family. Just as God lavishes His children with love once they choose to accept Him, we as adoptive parents have a choice to love, support, protect, nurture, and guide our daughter. She, in turn, has the choice to accept our love, support, protection, nurturing, and guidance, and to love us in return. Ryan and I whole heartedly embrace our choice to lavish A with our love, just as God lavishes us. After hearing her call us her parents this morning, I think she has made the choice to accept our love. And that is a remarkable feeling, undescribable feeling!


As for where we are in our adoption process....we have submitted all of our home study paperwork, and are currently waiting for our background checks to come back in order to conduct our home study. In the meantime, our placement agency is working on our dossier to have it ready to go when the home study is complete.


I want to end this post with a poem that I found this week, that sums up my feelings on our precious daughter.

Not Flesh of my Flesh

by Fleur Conkling Heyliger

Not flesh of my flesh
nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You did not grow under my heart,
But in it.