This may come as a surprise to some of you, and to others not at all. BUT... Ryan, the girls, and I are making plans to expand our family once more!! Our adoption journey this time around is going to be similar in some ways to our adoption of Alona, but in other ways it will be entirely different. So before I fill you in on what lies ahead, let me tell you how we came to the decision to adopt again.
When I traveled to Ukraine this past February, it was my full intent to seek out ministry opportunities in country to help orphans and those in need in their communities. The Lord was faithful, and He orchestrated a last minute chance meeting with the christian orphanage my ministry now helps to support. On my last day in country, my travel partner and I stopped by the orphanage to meet the caregivers, and the little ones who were not in school. It was there that one little boy in particular grabbed my attention. This little guy just happened to be home from school that day because he had been sick. As we we were walking around the facility, he ran and grabbed a Hot Wheels coloring sheet he had colored earlier. He proudly handed it to me, and motioned for me to keep it. It is hard to adequately explain with words, but I felt an instant connection with him. We were at the orphanage for maybe 45 minutes, but in that time, the Lord already planted a seed and a stirring in my heart for this little guy. Ryan and I were absolutely not looking to adopt again, and when I left Ukraine the next day, I did not yet feel that the Lord was calling us to adopt. I just knew that there was something special about this little boy, and that I would see him again one day.
First boy coloring page to ever hang on our fridge;)
Over the course of the next few months I corresponded with the caregivers of this orphanage, and received updates and pictures of all the kids. I often thought of this little boy, but never inquired about him specifically, because I didn't want to show partiality...especially since adoption was still not our radar. I started planning a return trip to Ukraine with a team of amazing people for June of this year, and as departure time grew closer, I began to get more and more excited about seeing this little guy. I thought it was probably just my imagination that we had a special connection, but was very much looking forward to spending time with him again.
As our car pulled up to the orphanage that bright June morning, I could hardly contain my excitement as I saw all the children outside waiting for us. As I got out of the car, my special friend ran up to me and gave me a big hug. He started trying to tell me something in Russian, and I gathered that he had something he wanted to give me. He ran inside, and came back out with the most precious drawing. He had drawn a picture of the 2 of us holding hands. Talk about melting your heart!! From that moment on, I knew we were in trouble;) Again, the focus of the trip was to strengthen relationships with caregivers in Ukraine, and continue to support them in their work. Yet with each passing day, it became increasingly obvious to me that the Lord might be calling our family to travel the road of adoption once more. Our time in Ukraine was so sweet, and so special, and the Lord used that time to deepen the bond I had with this child.
Picture that my sweet little guy drew for me
Back home, Ryan could totally tell that my heart was forever changed. The dialogue about adoption started immediately, and although Ryan could not fully understand the connection and longing I had for this child, he agreed to pray over the possibility of adopting once more. Over the course of the last couple of months, Ryan has faithfully prayed that the Lord would let His will be known. I tried not to be a pesky wife, and let him come to his own decision not based on guilt on being worn down...although this was hard;) Ryan FINALLY felt that he too believed God was calling us to this child.
We have debated on when to "go public" with our decision to purse adoption. This adoption is not a "sure thing". Unfortunately, there are quite a few hurdles to overcome. We thought maybe we should wait until we were further into the process to share this news with others. But then we decided that we did not want to let fear of this adoption not working out stop us. We feel that we need to step out in faith believing that God's will WILL be done, and that He will see this adoption through. It's like a pregnancy. Many people wait to tell others that they are pregnant until the 1st trimester is over. They do this because the chance of miscarrying their baby decreases greatly after the 1st trimester, and they want to wait to share their happy news until the chances of giving birth to a healthy baby is more of a sure thing. Ryan and I did this with our 4th pregnancy. We decided to wait to tell the word that we were expecting again until the 1st trimester was over. Unfortunately, I miscarried. It was such a dark, lonely time in our lives. And I found that I WANTED people to know about the baby. That by telling people that I was a mother to a little one in Heaven, it validated this baby's life. I learned that sharing the ups and downs of personal things like pregnancy and miscarriage with others, makes the hurt more bearable. Letting others in and allowing them to cover you in prayer during not just good times, but bad times as well, makes your burdens a little more easy to carry. And it is from the lesson we learned then, that we decided to go ahead and share with you our hopes and desires to adopt our son.
Couldn't love this little guy more!!
So where are we now? Unfortunately, I can't share all of the details in a public forum. Sorry!! We have to allow due process to take its course, and do not want to hinder the process in anyway. I can tell you that this adoption will not be lightening fast. We are looking at over a year before we will be able to bring him home...at best. This journey will be long. It will be hard. It will be wrought with emotions. And we want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with you. We covet your prayers, we cherish your support, and we promise to share as much as we can along this journey with you as we possibly can.
The Lord has been so gracious to speak to me through Scripture throughout this process already, and I want to share with you a passage that I read this week.
" But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you"
Psalm 33:18-22
Our trust is in the Lord. We believe in faith that the Lord will bring our son home to us one day. We know without a doubt that He put this love in our hearts for this child, and we will not stop fighting for him until he is with his family. Thank you in advance for your prayers and support as we embark on this new adoption journey.
" If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer"
Matthew 21:22
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